It's Almost Dark.

I srsly thought I'd be pissed off about spending most of my day inside when it was finally warm and gorgeous out.

Instead! I'm actually feeling ridiculously, surprisingly content having the apartment to my lonesome, curled up on my LFC fleece, thinking about what went well and didn't go well with my show this weekend, munching on a green pepper, watching Braveheart and concentrating my emotions on the psychological journey of Robert the Bruce instead of anything else. And remembering how I stood in the same room where the real non-Mel Gibson William Wallace was tried.

My show is over. And I'm once again focused on my excitement about my return to England. Just about three and a half months.

My show is over. And I have a new perspective on directing. I learned so much more than I ever thought I would from that short yet amazing experience. I do love Directing. After this weekend, I think I've realised I love stage management more. Weird, right? But in directing, you work and work and work and slave over a show - Make it yours. And then production comes and it's out of your hands - You have no control and you have to trust this team of people to not kill your work. It is completely in their hands to make your vision what you created. It is probably part of the growing process, but this weekend was tough in that respect because I don't trust other people, especially with my work. I'm very cynical and I do not believe anyone can do my work as well as I can. And there were a lot of mess-ups. I prefer stage managing - When I run the show. To continue the downsides - Yeah, I can videotape my production, but still, once the run of the show has ended, my work is gone. If I was successful, it will have done its job and moved the audience, been remembered, made an impression. But it is still gone. As a writer, where my work continues to be seen, read, enjoyed, used, envisioned, this is hard for me to bear. This is something I may get over and embrace as part of this branch of art and this job, or something that will distract me from further successes as a director. I hope for the former as I just submitted two challenging pieces to direct next year.

In completely other news, LFC was back at their spot at the top of the Premier League yesterday, but freaking Man United pulled a point somewhere. Still, my boys are one point away and I know they can do it!! Now if only I had friends around who loved them too.

My friends told me they were going to this jazz piano concert at the Barn today. I figured I'd tag along and see if there was a load-out afterwards I could work. I got there, my TD was front of house, I asked him, he said I could be front of house and get paid to work that. And I did. I love spontaneous jobs. That twenty bucks will buy me a meal and a pint in England this summer.

Life has been crazy. I'm ready to chill. My eyelids are dropping. At 7:30pm, that's not okay with me.

I want to go riding.