notebooks aren't just set dressing.

I meant to go to sleep almost three hours ago, but I found a whole bunch of my old notebooks, mostly the small ones I've used for years to write down my thoughts/ideas/whatevs.

And it made me really ashamed of myself/motivated me all at once. And I'm using too many slashes, BUT here's the thing: It made me realise how much I've been living in my own head the past year or even couple of years. Man, I used to be so outwardly creative, which is probably why I was getting a lot more work done.

I obviously didn't care if everything I made didn't turn out to be a successful project. I wrote down everything and even if I didn't use it, man was it interesting to read. A lot of it was great, srsly. Even my class notes from freshman year are filled with drawings, messages to other people, ideas and even if it was crap, it got my brain moving, my creativity in joint, moving, fit for work. I need that back.

As much as I've believed it was then that I had no confidence and that it's now my ego is huge...Somehow, I was unafraid then. Everything was let loose. And that's what I need to be successful in writing and whatever else I do.

This was a silly blorg that lacked all sorts of wit!

But helpful realisations nonethless. Thanks, past self, for the insight.

[...some of those freshman year messages were absolutely hilarious and ironic considering. one in particular. oh, yes. awesome.]