expletivexpliftiff.

I am srsly not cut out for this collegiate crap. It's sad I'm still saying that a month into my senior year. [Only a month, huh? Really now?]

Bouncing in and out of sadness, highs and lows of numbness, drinking beer and tea [not together, Chad of last night], wanting whisky, feeling ridiculously old [or malaffectedly, unpurposefully anti-social], leaving parties at 1:30am and feeling like it's way late [summer before last, sleep wasn't something I even considered...I aged twenty years in my twentieth year], rediscovering tunes, wishing for autumn like crazy, making plans for a return to London over Thanksgiving break [plzplzplz], finding ways to keep myself content, finding ways to keep myself myself.

I work in order to forget everything else, I think. Whatever. There are worse ways. [We forget because we must. Matthew Arnold has evidently invaded my thoughts.]

Thing is, there are so many things I'd rather be doing than schoolwork. All productive things! But not school things. I've been working on this stage management handbook for the Barn so people around there continue to know how to stage manage after I'm gone and obsessive, organised, odd little me must keep trucking at that because I enjoy it for some reason. It's a good review, nonetheless. It's forcing me to show off why I have a LAMDA diploma.

I went to Provvy yesterday, per usual. I let a group of pedestrians pass while I was driving up Prospect and one of them, an older gentleman, saluted me, and it was positively thrilling, it really was.

And I had to go to the mall, which I really do not enjoy. It's a pretty grimey experience, of which I really miss playing the honking game as there no longer is hilarious backup all the way up the parking garage, but I needed lotion and the only other Gap's in Newport. Alas. Why I mention this is solely to say that there is a Second Time Around in the mall now - It may have been there before, but I've never seen it and it was exciting. I love that place when I'm in the mood, yaknow. Neat.

Rifftrax also sustain me. 'Self Conscious Guy' made me feel better about myself, and 'Buying Food' made me wish beans cost twelve cents. It did not, in fact, make me want three tubs of oysters.

Quandary of the day, for your thoughts, and hopefully no longer for mine: What does one do when overthinking makes you miserable and not thinking makes you blank? How do you find the magical land of Inbetween? I seek inbetweenitude!